NEW MULLIGAN RULES?!

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME, WIZARDS. YOU JUST CHANGED THE MULLIGAN RULE A FEW YEARS AGO. NOW IT’S EVEN WORSE.

IT’S BASICALLY THE SAME EXCEPT THEY ADDED THIS LINE TO THE END

“Then, beginning with the starting player and proceeding in turn order, any player whose opening hand has fewer cards than his or her starting hand size may scry 1.”

IT’S ONLY FOR PT MAGIC ORIGINS RIGHT NOW BUT WOTC WILL PROBABLY MAKE IT PERMANENT.

WHAT THE HELL

YOU MEAN I HAVE LESS CHANCE OF FREE WINS OFF MY OPPONENT’S MULLIGANNING? THAT’S THE ONLY WAY I CAN WIN!

NOW THEY’RE GONNA BE ABLE TO SCRY FOR THEIR SECOND OR THIRD LAND AND BE ABLE TO STABILIZE AGAINST MY GOBLINS.

IT’S HARD ENOUGH TURNING DUDES SIDEWAYS BUT NOW THEY CAN GO “LOOK THERE’S MY ANGER OF THE GODS OR DROWN IN SORROW OR BARRAGE OF BOULDERS.”

I’VE GOT SOME ANGER OF THE GODS RIGHT NOW.

FETCHLANDS ARE BASICALLY WORTHLESS. KEPT THAT SCRY? HOPE YOU DON’T NEED MANA TURN ONE. SAME GOES FOR SCRYLANDS.

ALSO DELVER OF SECRETS. YOU CAN MULLIGAN AND JUST KNOW THAT IT’LL FLIP NOW.

FUCK DELVER.

 

$14,000 TARMOGOYF?!

THE FOIL TARMOGOYF FROM THE MODERN MASTERS GP WENT FOR $14000!

THAT’S INSANE. NO ONE’S EVEN GONNA CARE ABOUT IT IN TWO WEEKS.

I HOPE THEY GET THE MONEY THOUGH. THAT’S A LOT OF FUCKING MONEY. AND HALF GOES TO CHARITY.

WHO COULD HATE CHARITY? ESPECIALLY A NERD CHARITY!

IT’S NERDS HELPING NERD. HOPEFULLY BE LESS NERDS!

EITHER WAY GOOD FOR PASCAL MAYNARD. HE WON GP EBAY.

AND OWEN TURTLEDICKS MADE AN APOLOGY ABOUT HOW HE REACTED TO PASCAL’S FOIL GOYF PICK. HOPEFULLY HE SEES THAT DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT COMPLEX GOALS AND LIVES.

I KNOW IT WASN’T THE “CORRECT” PICK AS FAR AS GAMING GOES BUT I DON’T KNOW PASCAL’S LIFE. MAYBE HE GOT HIS OWN PROBLEMS THAT FOIL TARMOGOYF SOLVED OR HELPED SOLVE. IT’S NOT MY PLACE TO YELL AT HIM.

 

PLAYER RARE DRAFTS FOIL GOYF IN GP TOP EIGHT

I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED. PASCAL MAYNARD TOOK A FOIL TARMOGOYF INSTEAD OF A BURST LIGHTNING FROM HIS SECOND PACK AT GP VEGAS.

HOW DARE HE COMPROMISE THE TOURNAMENT INTEGRITY WITH A COMPLETELY LEGAL CHOICE OF GUARANTEEING HE GETS A $300 CARD?

IT’S CRAZY. HE SHOULD’VE TAKEN THE BURST LIGHTNING FOR HIS DECK. BUT NO, LIKE A MADMAN HE CHOOSES THE $300 INSTEAD OF THE $0.01 THAT MIGHT MAYBE WIN HIM MORE GAMES.

WHAT KIND OF MAN TAKE THE SURE THING INSTEAD OF THE GAMBLE? PASCAL MAYNARD, THAT’S WHO.

WHAT A TERRIBLE PERSON. SOMEONE ELSE COULD’VE HAVE THAT $300 CARD. I MEAN WHY BOTHER TAKING IT WHEN IT BASICALLY GUARANTEES YOU TOP FOUR CASH INSTEAD OF TOP EIGHT IF YOU SIT ON IT FOR SIX MONTHS?

WHAT ABOUT GLORY? WHAT ABOUT HEDGING AGAINST GETTING MANA SCREWED IN TOP EIGHT? DOES NOTHING MATTER ANYMORE?

I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH PASCAL BECAUSE IT’S A FUCKIN FOIL TARMOGOYF.

 

COMMANDER EDH TUCK RULE CHANGE OH NO

“If your commander would go into the library or your hand, you may choose to put it into the command zone. It’s as simple as that. Just like with the graveyard, if you want it to go into the library/hand, you’re more than welcome to let it.”

SHELDON NO

SHELDON WHY

SHELDON PLS

NO GOD NO HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?

THIS CHANGE RUINS EDH FOREVER. HOW CAN I POSSIBLY DEAL WITH POWER GAMING COMMANDERS NOW? I MEAN, OTHER THAN NOT PLAYING WITH PEOPLE WHO PLAY THAT KIND OF DECK. THAT’S COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE. HOW CAN I JUST NOT PLAY WITH CERTAIN PEOPLE? TRULY IT IS AN IMPOSSIBLE FEAT.

EDH WAS THE PINNACLE OF BALANCED, FUN, AND HAPPY FORMATS. THE COMMUNITY AND PLAYERS ALWAYS SO POLITE. IT WAS A LITERALLY HEAVEN ON EARTH. LIKE LITERALLY. AS IN JESUS AND THE ANGELS AND MY GRAMPA WERE THERE HELPING ME BUILD FUN DECKS THAT FOSTERED INTERACTIVITY AND FRIENDSHIP.

BESIDES, AS AN ULTRA COMPETITIVE FORMAT, I CAN’T SIMPLY IGNORE THIS RULES CHANGE. MY KITCHEN TABLE WILL LOSE ITS OFFICIAL WIZARDS OF THE COAST PRO TOUR EDH PLANESWALKER GRAND PRIX POINTS. EVEN IF I COULD, MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY WOULD FOREVER EXILE ME TO TINY LEADERS IF I PROPOSED OUR GROUP STICKING WITH THE OLD RULE.

YOU SEE, PEOPLE PLAY WAY TOO MANY TUTORS IN EDH. THIS IS ALL BECAUSE EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE THEIR COMMANDER GETS PUT INTO THEIR DECK. THE RULE CHANGE WILL GREATLY REDUCE THE NUMBER OF TUTOR EFFECTS PEOPLE WANT TO PLAY. SHARUUM FOR EXAMPLE WILL CERTAINLY PLAY LESS WAYS TO GET TIME SIEVE COMBO PIECES. AND KEMBA PLAYERS WILL SURELY CUT STEELSHAPER’S GIFT NOW.

THERE IS NO WAY TO OVERCOME THIS. WE ARE DOOMED TO AN ETERNITY OF NORIN THE WARY. IF WE CAN’T SPELL CRUMPLE NORIN, NOTHING STOPS HIM FROM BLEEP BLOOPING IN AND OUT OF THE BATTLEFIELD LIKE AN INTERDIMENSIONAL SUPERBALL.

BUT OUR GAME MUST SUBMIT TO GODKING LORD OF EDH SHELDON MENERY.

SHELDON IS LAW.

SHELDON IS LIFE.

BAZOOPER.